A Womb Does Not a Woman Make

The other day I received an email from a dear friend, my sister really. I warned her it would be in my next blog. I have included her comment.

"Had my yearly checkup last Friday and was told that my fibroid that's been in my body for the past two years had grown to the size of a grapefruit and it needs to come out....let's schedule a partial hysterectomy. Now, me and my doctor have already discussed my options about a year ago when the fibroid was much smaller. I elected to continue on as usual because I could deal with the heavy periods and cramps. But when he put it in such a matter-of-fact manner...I felt violated....:) Then he said you will be off work at least 4 weeks. I perked up and asked for an additional six weeks. He replied that he did not see a problem with that. I perked up a bit. As I was leaving the office I was in a fog, traumatized because I wasn't expecting that and the procedure has such finality (is there such a word?) to it. Part of my body will be permanently removed...no longer able to have children...not that I was going to...but I'm still vain enough to want that option in my old age:)

On the other hand, I will no longer have those awful periods and headaches and cramps that go along with it....on the other hand...it is the end of childbirth;and for some reason I am quite sad about that Barbara. What is that? ...Go figure the irony of my emotions."

I wrote: I now write a blog...this will be my next topic.

Our ovaries, womb, fallopian tubes are a part of our womanhood. We have allowed that to define us as woman. When I got mine in 2006, right after I completed my radiation for breast cancer, I was told by a female friend (who is much older than I) that I was no longer a woman. I looked at her with that smile that has made many think that I am easy going. I gave a slight giggle. I was thinking, "idiot"! You see my curves, my baby, these boobs, my way of being me like nobody else can be? I am a woman.

Yes, it is a loss. We mourn it, but unlike some, yours bore a beautiful piece of fruit. Ha! Less of a woman? Look at you. You are beautiful. Babies? You've been there, done that! The uterus is not THE definition of a wo-man. It is part of you. If you lose a limb, you are still hu-man. Look at what you are losing hys-terectomy. Give it back to HIM. You used it, it served you. You don't need it anymore.

A womb does not a woman make...You are a woman from your head to your manicured toe nails. Now, you will be a free woman like me. Forget the cramps, the tampons, napkins, Midol, bathroom trips...Welcome your freedom. Yes, you cannot have another baby, but a lot of folks with wombs couldn't have one. They are STILL women!

By the way, the woman that made the comment is petite, overtanned, her knees have four folds of skin, and her voice is raspy from smoking. She has had several cosmetic "adjustments" to make her beautiful and womanly. As she ages, she will have all of them, but they will be inside of folds and bends. Woman? Yeah, but what does it matter?

Embrace the free you! There are websites for women to discuss hysterectomies. Find one, and chime into the discussion or enjoy a laugh or cry!

Her response:
"Girl.....that was beautifully stated & I feel 100% better!!!! You are amazing with words Barbara. Love ya."

I love her, too!

-Written by Somebody's daughter, somebody's relative, a few folks friend, and a young woman's Mother