My mother is the “Queen of Expressions”. They aren’t usually originals, but she states them so often you’d swear she authored them. One of them is about pointing out the twig in another person’s eye when you have a log in your own.
We are facing a time when people are progressively rude, disrespectful and cruel. AND, I have never seen so many experts. Folks know how to solve everyone’s problem, but they can’t fix what ails them. In the past week, I have heard some of the most remarkable comments made by intellectuals, followed by expert opinions. Idiots are rampant. They are teaching our children, birthing our babies, feeding our spirits on Sundays, and calling us “friend”. Even when they don’t call us friend they lie about the reasons. Each of us was given a life to live--that’s one life, not yours and someone else. So why is your scoop in my sand pail, again?
Idiots see fault in everyone who doesn’t agree with their thwarted upbringing. Did you know you couldn’t order prime rib with a debit card? Nope, cash and carry. However, it is quite acceptable to keep company with someone who verbally abuses you, humiliates you in public and private, and makes it known that you mean nothing to them but the distinction of being first one you allowed to tap and slap you.
What do you do when a person is hurting or having a difficult time? That’s right kick ‘em, kick ‘em hard! Next, criticize them; tell them how poorly they are living their life. In fact, show them by your sterling example. Show them the men you are dating, let them meet your upstanding family—every member not just some of them. Imagine them being a fly on the wall of your life. Can you still point your finger so well?
I have heard people say, “I’m in it for the long haul…” The long haul was a short tow to the corner, and then a careless dump! When the load gets heavy, they are ready to lighten their cargo in a hurry. Not everyone is equipped to deal with burdensome relationships, but why is it necessary to spit upon, kick or punch the person? And what joy comes from it? “Hmph! I bet they don’t think they are so much now. Look at him! Yeah…” That sounds like someone who is in it for the long haul, doesn’t it? Friends are in for the long haul! They iron things out. They discuss their issues with each other not everyone else. AND they learn that while they may not always agree, friends don’t bring harm, and they try to prevent harm from coming to friends. Friends communicate, they share, they heal together, and they care about the well-being of the other.
Have you ever stopped to think about a person who would talk about your friend to you? A friend who has brought them no harm and who has brought no harm to you either? Now, let me set the record straight. Do I gossip? Um- hmmm! I am not going to try to justify or qualify it. I will say this, once a co worker made a snide comment about someone I considered a friend. I stopped her by saying the person was my friend, and I would not entertain the conversation. Another time a dear friend revealed a person’s negative opinion of me. Two of my friends attempted to show this person how ridiculous they were being, to no avail. They have remained friends with this person. What I admire about my FRIENDS is that neither of us is allowed to bad mouth the other. Perhaps that quality of friendship is dead. I hope not.
I remember being told a negative comment someone made about me, and asking the person why the others felt comfortable making that remark to them. Silence. I knew why. It was because they either joined in or refused to defend me. Defense makes the offender uncomfortable. I cannot nor do I try to defend those who have been callous, taken advantage of or done malicious acts toward my friends. Even in those instances, there is an agreement among my friends that the person will not be discussed, period. Weed out those gossiping, mess starting people quickly even if you have to lose a few casualties (the neutral folks). No one should constantly be in the midst of negative vibes, false friendships, and miserable folks who could care less if you swim, but smirk when you sink a little. Karma whips you around and beats you down like a drum in a metal band. And as I said when I was a little girl, “God sees you.” So, if you’re bad enough to stand your gossiping mean spirit ground with God, have at it. Go for it! Stay wrong, and watch out for that bolt of lightning.
Insidious individuals breed best when the environment is warm and friendly to them. A person who is inherently vicious is not a friend—to anyone. I wrote about the snake before. Watch them. They innocently “make mention” of something they are “disturbed” about. They usually preface it with a “little talk” they want to have or they want to “ask you something”. What they really want is to use their great manipulative ability to plant a seed, and then return to water and fertilize it from time to time. Since it is human nature to love a good story, most of us are great audiences for the manipulator.
Gossip is like a nasty disease that spreads, lies dormant, and then comes back for the kill. If, in your pious moment you think you have earned the right to treat another human shabbily, slink over to the mirror and come face-to-face with who you really are inside. You may deceive others, because some people like to gossip when they are the expert not the victim. However, see yourself for who you really are, it won’t be the eyes of an innocent individual. Gossip is a negative habit that mysteriously feeds the warped ego of the gossiper. Somehow we “know” something or think we know something, or “want” to know something, or want folks to “think” or “feel” the same way we do.
Most of us can spell hypocrite, learn to recognize it in the flesh. So, if the opportunity comes to help someone with your pearls of wisdom, FIX YOURSELF UP FIRST! After that, you won’t need to judge or tear someone else down, because you’ll be fine! In the meantime, I’ll be over here nursing the log in my own eye.
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