Barbara-isms: Saying Goodbye to Old Friends: ATribute to Breast Cancer Survivors from a 2X Survivor Re-inventing Me

Barbara-isms: Saying Goodbye to Old Friends: ATribute to Breast Cancer Survivors from a 2X Survivor Re-inventing Me

Saying Goodbye to Old Friends: ATribute to Breast Cancer Survivors from a 2X Survivor Re-inventing Me

Wow! It's been a while since I've shared my journey. Well, I lied in my last blog. I did decorate my 8 foot tall Christmas tree by myself except for one strand of lights. I enjoyed a walk in the mall after Christmas, but was a not as strong as I thought. And I had to have the implant removed AGAIN in March of this year. It became unbelievably hard, painful, and oddly shaped.  It sat on my chest like a small hill. There was a huge hollow under my arm. I was not guaranteed a successful experience because of the cancer being in the same breast that had radiation before. So, I was intent on enduring the emotional ride that was taking place.

The good news is that the implant has been lowered, feels natural, and I can go bra-less on many occasions! This is a first since 7th grade! The girls are not sitting on my stomach. It is totally wonderful. And yes, I am sporting those sundresses I only dreamed of wearing before. Oh, and one more thing, I cut my hair-again! Love it. I love wearing large earrings and this style allows that! Hair is yet another controversy among women. It is no different with me. I have heard, "Why?" and "I love it"! To say it doesn't matter would be untruthful. It makes me wonder how truthful comments would have been had I lost my hair to chemo! However, it hasn't stopped me from enjoying it!

Let's not forget that I had a mastectomy. So, there is a slight indention or hollow place. I still experience some discomfort or odd pains. I will perhaps have at least one more surgery. However, I am surviving. I am walking, having recently done a 5K walk for my daughter's nonprofit. I am dining with friends, going to the theatre, clubs, and concerts. I am planning a really fun Pink party for my sisters from other mothers. I am re-inventing, re-discovering, and re-claiming Barbara! I am still working on my Ph.D. in Psychology.

I've learned a lot about who I am and who I am not. I have also learned the same about my relationships with others. All I can say about that is..."Everybody aint able to be a friend or even come close," and on the positive, "Some people rise far above, respond well as God's servants, are present and accounted for shoulders". I have found so much joy from my friends through this journey. And in Re-creating ME, I have had the support of a lot of unsuspecting souls. It is amazing how God reveals truth through the smoke screen. Neighbors have walked our dog, left flowers on my doorstep, and brought food to our home. People haven't forgotten that we eat, and therefore need groceries. Friends haven't forgotten to pray, call or visit. I have been blessed, and I have tried to bring joy to others throughout this process!

This is, as I started Part 1 by stating, my second time with breast cancer. Each time, there was a friend before me in the journey, and one after me. I am dedicating this blog to my sister who is following me in this journey. Yet, she is making her own way. She is strong, but not afraid to express her fears, nor shed her tears. I love her, and all that she has been in our sisterhood. I love all that she has been in her motherhood. I love the way she is learning to re-create and move through the breast cancer maze. She also has a champion in her twelve-year-old daughter, who even wanted to shave her head to express the BEAUTY she saw in her mom. She is truly beautiful with her shaven head. I say again, "Everybody aint able-she is".

If you never know another thing about me, know two right now. My sisterhood is of the utmost importance to me. I scrutinize and champion who they are. I appreciate their honesty, and their love. The other is that the mother/daughter relationship is sacred ground to me. It will be the subject of posts to follow.

This is the last of this series. Although, I may talk about breast cancer in future blogs, I will not be providing updates. Just know that I am embracing the opportunity to have life, by living it!

Peace.